Let’s Talk About Anger
How quickly do you become angry?
Verse of the Day
“Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”
Today’s Devotional
For many of us, anger is one of those emotions that comes upon us before we even realize it. For others, anger is not as much of a problem. Anger is “a natural response to a perceived threat.” But that definition doesn’t really capture the reasons why I tend to get angry.
A Christian Mental Health organization, Pine Rest, puts it this way: “Anger is a universal emotion—everyone feels it at different times and to varying degrees. Anger arises in many contexts and the experience ranges from mild irritation (often referred to as “frustration” by women since culture doesn’t like angry women) to all-consuming rage. Even boredom is a mild form of anger which represents dissatisfaction with whatever is currently happening.
Feeling anger is a natural part of life, but is not necessarily an emotion we are comfortable with or have been taught to manage skillfully. While anger is often seen as “bad” or “un-Christian,” it is as important to our health as a fever is. A fever is essential because it tells us that something is wrong and is also the body’s way of beginning to deal with the infection creating problems. Anger is the body’s way of signaling something is wrong and creating energy to help begin addressing the problem.
Typically, we experience a primary emotion like fear, loss, or sadness first. Because these emotions create feelings of vulnerability and loss of control, they make us uncomfortable. One way of attempting to deal with these feelings is by subconsciously shifting into anger.”
If anger is a secondary emotion and it is a signal that something else is going on, maybe instead of trying to prevent anger, we should learn how to handle it. So what does the Bible say about anger?
- ‘Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper— it only leads to harm.’ Psalms 37:8
- ‘People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.’ Proverbs 14:29
- ‘Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.’ James 1:20
- ‘And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ Ephesians 4:26-27
- ‘A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.’ Proverbs 15:1
- ‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.’ James 1:19
- ‘Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.’ Proverbs 19:11
- ‘Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.’ Proverbs 29:11
- ‘Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.’ Proverbs 16:32
- ‘A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them.’ Proverbs 15:18
After reading these Scriptures, it seems that the common theme is not acting or speaking out of anger. We are being told to not let our anger control our words and actions. If we add this to the sentiment above, maybe instead of allowing our anger to control us, we could choose to look at the “why”.
I got angry about something recently. Without getting into the details, because it was very minor, my anger came from a place of feeling slighted and being treated in a way that made me feel “less than”. If, instead of lashing out, I would have taken a deep breath and looked at the “why”, I could have communicated my feelings very reasonably and those words would probably have been well received. Instead, when I lashed out, I caused the other person to shut down, which only caused me more hurt.
The Biblical advice about anger isn’t calling us to a standard we are not capable of. It’s calling us to a place of rigorous honesty. It’s calling us to be real and vulnerable. And if we can choose to follow the Biblical teaching, our lives will be better for it.
Acting on our anger is in opposition to patience. And when we consider how God treats us – that He is slow to anger, that He pursues us despite our failings, that He offers grace through Jesus – maybe our perspective about anger will slowly begin to change and align with what the Bible is teaching us.
Journal Prompts
Answer only the questions that seem relevant to you today.
How quickly do you become angry?
Think of a time when you were angry. What might the primary emotion have been?
How can you practice controlling your anger? How might you redirect yourself the next time you get angry?
How does God’s patience with you change the way you feel about your right to be angry with others?
Ask God to help you to control your anger and to help you see what underneath the anger.