Honesty is Desired
How would you rate your honesty with God?
Verse of the Day
“But you desire honesty from the womb, teaching me wisdom even there.”
Today’s Devotional
Let’s begin today by acknowledging that not all translations of today’s verse use the word “womb”. Other versions use “inward being”, “inward parts”, “innermost being”, or “inner self”. Therefore, I will make the assumptions that David is not saying that God desires unborn babies to be honest, but instead perhaps he is saying that God desires our honesty from the deep, inner parts of ourselves.
Here’s the catch: the deep, inner parts of ourselves is where our motivations live. It’s the “why” we do what we do. I can speak from experience that confronting my underlying motivations for the behavior in my life was a very uncomfortable process. It was messy, it involved struggle and wrestling with what was truth and what were lies, and I needed some faithful guides in this process. It’s a process that will need to continue for as long as I live.
Let’s look at an example from the life of David. The surface level honesty was that he committed adultery with Bathsheba and then arranged for her husband, Uriah, to be killed in battle. But what does the honesty from David’s innermost self look like? Here’s my guess:
David: “God, I chose not to go to battle with my men because, well, I didn’t want to. I made choices that did not align with the purpose that You had given me, which was to lead my men into battle. As I was in the palace and on the roof roaming around, I saw someone who was not mine to have and I wanted her. I did not think about Your commands in those moments. I thought only of my own selfish desires. My motivation was immediate gratification no matter the cost. And I don’t think I even realized any of this at the time. But I see it now.
After she became pregnant, I did whatever I could think of to cover up my actions. I manipulated Uriah, and when he did not do what I wanted, I had him killed so that my reputation would be unharmed and no one would know what I had done. But You knew. If only I had been obedient from the very beginning, going to war for my people, I would have avoided all of this. But You are full of mercy and unfailing love, so I know that as I come to You with a humble heart, You will not only forgive me, but also You will restore me and teach me Your wisdom from my mistakes.” (2 Samuel 11)
Do you see how this is honesty on a deeper level?
Often the only way to get to this level of honesty is through pain, probably because we avoid the warning signs before we get to this point. However, we are given an option to avoid the pain of these kinds of mistakes. Psalm 139 tells us to ask God to “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
As we come to God daily for His will, and we allow Him to have access to our minds and hearts through the Word, meditation, and prayer, God is faithful to show us the error of our ways…. If we are willing and we make the time for Him to do so.
A few months ago, I was really struggling with a particular person in my life. During my morning time with my Father, I was praying and journaling about this person. And from my perspective, this was a “them” problem and not a “me” problem. But in His kindness, God pointed out something about me and my motivations that I would not have seen otherwise. It was not lovely or comfortable, but immediately there was an “Aha!” moment. I cannot change anyone else, but when God shows me something about me, I can bring it to Him to fix. There is freedom and renewal in that kind of honesty. I believe that’s what David was talking about.
In that place of total honesty is where God imparts His wisdom. That’s where He reveals what we cannot see. That’s where he teaches us the most valuable lessons. And with that wisdom comes a longing for more. More honesty. More of God. More of His wisdom. With God, there’s always more.
Journal Prompts
Answer only the questions that seem relevant to you today.
How could renewal come from your total honesty with God? What scares you about being that vulnerable with God?
How comfortable are you with looking at your motivations?
Pray Psalm 139:23-24 today and ask God to show you what you need to see today. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” (Have your journal and pen ready.)