Difficult People
How do you handle difficult people?
Verse of the Day
“A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.”
Today’s Devotional
Do you consider yourself a servant of the Lord? If so, today’s verse has some important directions. We are told that quarreling and arguing are not for us. We are told to be kind. To everyone, not just the people we like. We must be prepared to share what we have learned. And…we are told to be patient with difficult people.
I think it’s important to stop here and look at several different translations of this phrase “be patient with difficult people”. The NIV tells us to “not [be] resentful”. The ESV says we are “patiently enduring evil”. The Amplified Bible says we are “patient and tolerant when wronged”. No matter which translation you prefer, it appears that we will deal with opposition, difficult people, and troubling situations in this life.
The verses after today’s give us some insight: “Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.” (2 Timothy 2:25-26)
These verses remind me that gentle instruction is required over essential matters, matters of biblical truth. And non-essential matters – which include opinions, preferences, traditions, and passions – do not require my attention. Bibleref.com says, “Arguments over non-essential issues quickly turn into feuds, poisoning the body of Christ just as gangrene attacks the physical body.” Through our gentle words, God may do some heart-work on these “difficult people”, but that is between those people and God. My call, our call, remains the same. We are called to be patient and gentle.
Enduring Words commentary says, “In the kingdom of God, greatness is marked by being a servant of the Lord and by being gentle to all. [We] must be patient. God’s work often takes time. Sometimes we can see why it takes so much time, sometimes we can’t – but God is not in a hurry, and wants us to learn how to patiently trust Him. The gentleness and patience [we] must have does not mean [we are] to never confront those who need to be confronted; but he must do it in humility.”
John Calvin said, “Paul’s meaning is that gentleness should be shown even to those who least deserve it, and even if at first there is no apparent hope of progress, still the challenge must be accepted.”
I can share from my personal experience that the times I have followed this Godly wisdom have been so much more effective than the times I have been harsh and angry. When was the last time your mind was changed by someone’s harsh words or angry arguments? It rarely works, if ever. In those moments when my instinct was to be harsh and aggressive, the only thing that has worked for me is to pray before the conversation and ask for God to guide my words and my tone. When I take the time to ask for God’s help, He delivers. And for some reason, I am always amazed when He helps me in those situations. Grateful, and amazed.
Journal Prompts
Answer only the questions that seem relevant to you today.
How do your instinctive reactions get in the way of following today’s instructions?
How can you invite God to guide all of your conversations today? For some help, pray Psalm 141:3 – “Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.”
How can you go out of your way to be kind today?
Who are your “difficult people”? How can you pray God’s blessings for them today?